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Looking For You: In a Desert Place

Where are you? I can’t find you. I have looked for you everywhere, even in desert places. It is as if you have vanished from the face of the earth.

Where shall I go to find you? Where shall I go to hear that still small voice? Where shall I find someone just like you? Nowhere? Will I find You in the pages of the books that were written before me? Will I find You in the wind? Will I find You in the rain and the beauty that surrounds me? Where shall I find You?

Will I find You in my dreams? If I sailed across the ocean to distant worlds would I find You there? If I look at the sky after the rain falls, will I see a glimpse of You?

In my mind I see You, but I don’t know where You are. The feelings are unfair. My heart is in despair! Searching, trying to find You is like a needle in a haystack! Why must You make me search for so long? I have waited and watched for a glimpse of You, but to no avail I have not succeeded.

You know who I am, just as I know who You are, but our hearts are but a grain of sand in the desert longing to find the perfect place in the world to be. Searching only never to find You, my heart continues to break! My eyes are swollen from the tears shedding day and night. How could one be so cruel to someone who’s so beautiful?!?! Damn it! No more searching! No more crying! No more of anything! For I am done! I am one with myself! Done trying to find the real me! Looking at a reflection of what was and now is. The old life is dead and gone, never to be reborn again.

Shall the sun grace my face? Shall the wind surround me with coolness? Shall the grass remain soft and green? Shall the birds continue to chirp and sing? Shall my life be happy, and shall I be free?

Who knows what the future holds for those searching, and looking for themselves in a desert place? c.2023 L.A.


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