Alone with your thoughts in the quiet there is softness.
Softness that’s in the mind and heart that brings back memories which once made us laugh…made us cry.
Softness that makes you think of days gone by. Quiet is kept a secret only one knows, only the heart can comprehend.
Softness that makes a heart think about love, and loving someone that you love; having only for yourself, not to share, but to care for their heart as they care for yours.
Tears stroll down the heart and face in the softness of the quiet in the mind of the hurt.
Screaming to break the silence, the softness, the quiet that holds everything in.
Beautiful eyes filled with traces of pain that only they can know, even in the quietness they burn and long for joy that brings peace to the broken heart.
Yet and still quiet…silent…thinking…meditating on something good to bring a smile through the tears of the eyes and heart. The soul of the one longing to be loved in the softness of the quiet silences the aching heart and dries up the tears in her fears in her eyes that has been cried.
Love leaps away just as a bird flies from the nest never to return again…parting is such sweet sorrow.
Enduring the silence. Enduring the quiet. Alone with her thoughts, her memories of the past, the good , the bad, and those that she wishes to forget plagues her mind day and night.
Trying to forget, but no one will let her! Holding it over her head like an umbrella! Bashing and judging! Redicule! Never good enough! the blacksheep! Yes, the light, the only light from a young age she has been! Unloved, unwanted, uncared for! Talked down to! Made fun of because of her weight! Called every name in the book!
Does she answer to those names, NO! Does she love herself! Yes she does!
Softness in the quiet, her mind is flooded with the past…she will not forget, but will move on to live a better life for herself; she deserves it. She deserves happiness, love, joy, and peace in her life.
Will she have it? Yes. One day, some day soon. Softness in the Quiet. ©2020
ABOUT THIS POEM:
This poem is about memories good and bad, and how we often keep things in our hearts and minds that we cannot let go of. We often sit and think about those things that we are holding on to; pieces of ourselves that we will not share with anyone because of fear and judgement. This poem resonates with millions, maybe even more. When you read this, how did you feel? What did you think about? Well, I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. ©2020
TUMBLING AND FALLING WITH THE WIND
Walking to her destinaton to bring the night to an end not knowing what was about to happen.Happy as she could be ready to go home it was a blessing she had her phone. The wind came up all of a sudden, lifting her up from the ground, tumbling and seeing the leaves flutter on the branches of the trees as she lands on the hard cold concrete ground. Shook by fear and shock, it was as if time had stopped not knowing what was going to happen next,no adrinline anywhere to be found that could have gave her strength to get up from that cold concrete ground. Screaming for help but there was none, she just did what had to be done. Tumbling through the air her shadow she seen, her life passing before her face as she screamed! Landing hard pain she did feel, could not move, just hurt and still. Pulled out her phone and gave it a dile, someone answered with a friendly smile. She never would have ever thought that this would be her fate, her mind told her she was going to heavens gate. Concrete cold there she lay hoping to see another day. Help arrived when she called on the name of Jesus. Color didn’t matter,someone was there to help her up with all of their care placing her slowly and gently on a chair. Covered her up from the wind and misty rain, she began to come to herself again. Can you help me, one said to the other. The phone was dialed as she waited still…still cold…shivering…hurting in pain, she thought she would never walk again. To her it seemed like forever for help to the scene to arrive, trying to make since of it all, her husband she did call. No comforting words…just redicule about debt, not caring about the tears in her voice, not caring if she was alright. The fire department was first to arrive, but she thought for the ambulance it was a long drive. Statement taken, measurements were made, ten to fifteen feet could have been her fate. An inch from the concrete was her head, she landed real hard on her left side instead. Sounds of the sirens in the distance were heard, all she could do was stay quiet and hold down her head. Not knowing what to think about it all she knows for sure it was one bad fall. Finally they make it to the scene where questions were asked as they began to proceed. Proceed with helping her after questions and answers were asked, the one that was there went and got her bag. Told her not to worry they did everything they could to make her comfortable and good. Kindness was shown all of the way there, but alone in her room Jesus was there. He was there to hold her hand, to wipe her tears away when she could not stop crying, to comfort her through it all. Talking by technology her other half said they prayed, but she still needed him there anyway. No effort made to be at her side, tears streamed down her face as she began to cry! Eyes were full like rivers bursting forth, sobbing with nothing to wipe her face. Body stricken with coldness and pain, blankets covered her to get her warm again. It was as if no one cared to come and sit with her from this earth; ONLY JESUS! ONLY JESUS! NO ONE ELSE, ONLY JESUS! X-Rays taken through all of her pain, she just wanted to feel pain free again. Meds were finally to her given, but everything was still a shock to her. Broken hearted she felt as she laid still on her bed of affliction; wanting her loved one who was at home still. No broken bones at all, just pain from the tumbling and falling bruised her body…hardly moving…hard to walk as she was on the phone, a wheelchair was gotten for her, but she was still left all alone. Waiting for her charriot to grace her presence to take her away from there, not knowing they were there, but not really there, there where she was to take her home, the wrong place they were, looked for her not, left the lot, drove away with an angry face.She calls and texts, calls and texts,calls and texts until she got an answer. The voice on the end was mad and upset as if it were her fault that they went to the wrong place; yet again she was sad with tears running down her face. Finally they show up to take her away from there, took her home and didn’t show her any care. Favors offered but none received she went in the kitchen to prepare her something to eat. She ate and got full, talked to her son on the phone while he slept. They said good night, She laid down the glass did break. Shattered shards of glass and liquid spilled on the floor, broom and dustpan in hand, towels for the liquid and glass to be swept up, dried up and put in the trash. What a night it was for her in the pain she was in, she just hopes and prays that it never happens again. Asleep she fell not even a dream just more pain to get through is what it seems. She knows who was there for her and who saved her life, it was none other than Jesus Christ. He stood by her side there and at home the whole time and wiped her tears away to give her a more peaceful day. ©2020
WHAT NOW?
As days have turned into night and weeks into another month, still pain she feels, meds have been given, but to no avail sleepless nights, uncomfortable shifts through the night. She hopes everything will soon be alright. Nevertheless time has been took as she writes messages like a book. Information here, and information there, only two are showing that they really care. Still doesn’t understand why this had to be, she closes her eyes and it is Jesus that she see. On her Savior she almost gave up, but He showed up with a gentle touch. Wiped her tears away, strengthened her faith for she knows that His Words Save.
Physical therapy made her hurt, but it is good for her bones, it will help her to get back moving until she can get back on her feet again. Crutches she uses to help her walk, that is something that she never thought. Learning to do things all over again, what now? When she is alone who is there to help her? When she is in pain, who is there to make it go away? Who is going to tell her that everything is going to be ok?
She sits alone with her thoughts running a million miles a minute. Frustrated, stressed out, tired of it all. She doesn’t like being like this, she doesn’t like feeling like this, she doesn’t like not being able to eat somedays because the meds change her tastebuds, and she doesn’t like not being able to fix her hair, or feeling like an invalid. It is going to take some time for her body to function normally again, but who knows how long except God?
Day after day in the same painful way, she feels sad and alone inside of her heart, inside of her soul, inside of her mind; every move is painful. Onset headaches comes from nowhere with sharp pain like a knife stabbing her in the same place over and over again. What now? What will she do to make ends meet? What will she do to get the things that she need? What will she do! At this point she does not know. She is just hoping for the best to pass this test that just may make her strong again.
No one knows how she feels as her heart breaks from it all. No one knows her frustration, and the slight bouts of depression she is facing. She looks at herself in the mirror not knowing where she got her traits, her laugh, her looks, her smarts, and everything to her is a mystery. Now she has to try to get through this painful case from day to day hoping that all of the pain will go away.
No one rubs her feet to make her feel better. No one to fix her hair to make her feel pretty, so she just does the best she can to take care of herself. Life she almost gave up on because of all that is going on. Will she ever understand why this happened? Will she always wonder why it happened? ©2020
HER RETURN
The first day of her return was fine. She got her exams done and passed them all. She did what was necessary to her. She told her boss what she wanted to do at her job to better herself. Her boss understood where she was coming from. She watched the person in the front so she could learn how to do it, and she learned a lot. She cleaned out her locker and brought her stuff home at the end of he day. The next day she had an appointment to see the doctor, so she did not go in to work, she called her boss to let her know, and she said that it was fine. The day after that she went to work, but her position had been filled, so she just did light duty work to make the day go by. She went outside to take her break. She stood by the bush and drank her drink. She glanced over to where her accident happened; her eyes welled up with tears. She thought she was over what happened, but she was not. At the end of the day, she clocked out and did not return anymore. While she was there though, she found out some things that she did not know had been done, and that really upset her. She is still waiting to have her MRI done, but it had to be cancelled due to the weather situation. She is still taking meds, and she is still going to her appointment to see her doctor. She still has medication to get, but to no avail, the weather has not permitted her to do so. She will keep on waiting to hear what she wants to hear from the doctor after it is all said and done, but due to her back situation she is afraid she may have to go on disability, and that is something she does not want to do, but if she has to, that is something she will most certainly think about.
Nevertheless, she is still hopefull of a good outcome after it is all said and done. If she has to make that decision, maybe it will be for the better for her. Maybe then things will start looking up for her and she can get some of the things that she has really been needing for a very long time. Maybe she can have a little joy in her life. Until then she will wait with patience. ©2020
Diva's Poetry 
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